It's Zenobia

Usually I wanna  capture love the essence of  the messy stuff  that sticks to the roof  of our mouths  and halts our speech makes it hard to see  makes you  everything  I ever thought I would need usually  that's me but lately maybe  I'm someone else too  someone else who sees other things wants other things wants words to work  at settling  these nerves  I wanna write about love but honestly also I just wanna fuck I just wanna know  how your mouth  presses down  on me low in slow certain circles,  or wait  better yet figure eights hands pressed  at my waist  I wanna know  about that heat  that I feel through your shirt if that steam  will warm me and my hurt I wanna know  how hot  you will feel in my palm how hard it will be  for you to stay calm  stay on  this wave with me  I wanna know about the length of you  the strength of you...

I will walk with you this one last time I will walk down  to the end of the road but that's as far as I can go I am no longer  free for this I can longer breathe like this I have lost the will  to walk beside dreams  to babble  like streams I am a ghost and this  long  walk is no longer home  I have no ties or tethers  I am but a storm you have weathered I'm aware our forever  has ended  has lent it's romance  to the unrequited that yearning and ache  is over  Eyes clear and heart sober I take with me  memories that sustain  a girl that once was but enough love  of this  of us  I am no longer flesh and no longer trust it is safe  where I'm headed  far away from ordinary  but I will walk with you this last time  silent, hands at our sides  clouds in our eyes I will walk with you I will walk I will until the roads ends up ahead  and my soles  no longer touch th...

Let's go deeper This time  Way down  To the bottom of that well The darkest part The hardest part To get to Where secrets Swim unfettered It's better this way The wetter we stay The colder we get The more we forget The rules that we've set With minds free We can find them Those places  We hid from each other We bid of each other Go deeper It's easy once its started  To continue  To find in you  The strength to press me down  To the bottom  To the edge of reason Listen,  I have lost my inhibitions I don't miss them  I don't need them  I am feeling  a way about this  about you  let us go way  down  where sound  is thick  with promise and it's echo's are honest yes, yes, yes  let's  please  get on with  clawing, climbing,  timing it just perfect so we break the surface in the same hurried breath Yes...Yes...YES rise, so high  out of this tunnel  out of the dark parts...

So subtle  Love  But not enough I see you Hiding behind those words That I  Am meant to read As soft and sweet But please Believe I see between Those lines love I do believe your mind love is riddled with my memories is barely breaking past the ever loud complexities  of the life we had  and it's just so bad that ache for that taste for that ever present wait for the return to this  ellipses do little for disguise  our focal points  will never not meet in your eyes  am I right or do I cite the wrong sources I mean life is what it is  not even distance can force this  life takes its courses that we can't interfere with but do hear this I hear you  loud and clear  and its sweet  but we'll keep to our respective sides of the street  and be  the new we  on new boats  on new seas and secrets in bottles tucked into sentences  are the new subliminal messages and that is all fine and well and well, wh...

I am writing  everyday  words falling from fingers like snowflakes  silent, soft, swift picking up  piling up and making mountains  on blank sheets I am writing oceans for you who  I have not met yet  I see in every word every corner  that I dare to turn you, or better  the idea of  the prescient feel of  what I need from  the edge of you  the in of you  the whole of you I am writing  everyday  in hopes of  finally finding your touch  at my base  in that space  that's hollowed out  by ache  I'm writing  everyday  to capture this  to truly try and trace  the after if  and when I let myself forget the catalyst  cause I only wanna feel  with you and leave these words to do the work of the remembering  so I just have to be  cells, skin, and slick electricity  I am writing  everyday  spinning sugar  for your mouth ...