It's Zenobia

Stalled in this elevator  Conversations elevated  Face to face, small space, slow pace,  Deep words about who we were  About not knowing, about who we hurt  About thoughts growing  From ideas to existence, just listened  About the things we've seen  How they made us who we came to be  Rejection, respect, regrets,  About how to feel without being touched  About how it feels when you're not  Being touched...so so much  Before doors opened, and we'd go then  Our separate ways, no names  Two souls, mid floor connections,  Magic in the mystery, so we left it  No questions

He always eats Before he comes Because I go directly  To his head  Dangerous  On an empty stomach  So he does it  Out of need  Something to calm his head  In an effort  To feel relieved

There are places  Left untouched for ages  My hands tremble  At the thought  Of soft flesh pressed  Between these legs  Left without your love  There are places  Vacant  Deep within my soul waiting  To be made whole  Wet regrets slowly take their toll  Fingers fill the void  With empty promises  If I'm honest it's  All that's left for me to hold  Coming as quickly  As the memories go

I think maybe I'm not done yet  Giving you my whole life  Balanced  Carefully on promises  And proclamations  Kneaded  Into sweets  Slipped softly into  Your eager lips  Tucked Tight against your bones  At night I think maybe  My body hasn't finished  Living  Pressed  Greedily  Against your own  My skin confused for yours  In our closeness  In our open  Outward  Reach  Pulling  Panting  Breathing deep  Scents unique  To us  And  I think that love  Is afraid  To close its eyes  And so I try  To see it clearly  Caution  Tossed  To the waiting wind  I seek  Our memory

To be consumed  In that way  Hands  Reaching  Grasping  Eager  Heartbeats  Quick  At his pulse  In his chest  Mouth  Hot  Open  Pressed  Against petal flesh  Velvet  Fresh  Smooth  Against a tongue  Sunken  Drunk  In love  To be possessed  This way

24 with 3 kids  and he  is the man of her mothers dreams  or so it seemed  when she was pressed  to impress him  mommy stressed that she dress in  something to catch his eye  and I guess  she made her attempt  cause she caught him  but really it was not needed  he was bartering for a place to stay  and she was offered  as a bargain on the rent  take my daughter  no money spent  and so two lost souls  got together  got the better  of life  man and wife  and weight and struggle  and stress and yes  it was somehow  more than she had planned for herself  she felt suffocated by life  by love  by us  3 kids and this is just too much  she found her feet  and backpedaled quick  out the door  down the street  taking all the heat for being  "that kind of mother"  walking away...

I have to find myself A place to breathe Cause the air here Will not let me  Be It is thick with  Ache Black And bruised Its scent Cloying Creeping Down my throat So Desperate to be alive While I struggle While I juggle  Each and every moment Hoping Hands will hold them  Careful So not one is broken I am going Down  A  Path Alone And I seek air With abandon Arms outstretched Steps Not quite landing Where I need them Where I need when The air becomes  Too dark to see And I stumble All along The  Street Gasping Ungodly Sounds That wheeze And whir Against my silent tongue Save me  Say we Could do this thing As one Because my hearts afraid My mind's made up And I admit I want to use  These lungs