It's Zenobia

self love cause I  let myself  cry in the shower hard ugly  racking  sobs chest  burning  lungs  gasping asking me to relax self love cause  I  admit to myself that I'm unhappy unworthy under self imposed pressures that I never  ease up on self love  cause  I know deep in the places I never let  anyone see I am nothing no one  never have been  never having the strength  to be my own best friend self love  cause I let myself remember  what was done  and I let the ache wash over  me hot as this water hot as this shame  that I claim when I think  of opening up  of being vulnerable  self love cause I won't ever be  that weak  I will keep  my distance my dismissive  dark thoughts  at the forefront  of my mind  self love  cause I'm too broken to fuck  around and find love  find out that I was right  this whole time ...

I understand now That I must be warmed Like clay Softened For days Pressed repeatedly Against gentle palms Kneaded sweetly With measured calm I must be taken piece by piece worked with hands mouth teeth legs apart spine released careful concentration build build build come apart  repeat I understand the time I need the soft pressure against resistance that begs permission that says to listen as words deliver a place to lay back to bask in the delight of being repurposed reimagined reborn stem, bloom, thorn crushed between fingers fragrant nascent hope lingers at the edge so close  as I'm stretched pulled, molded, over and over coming close to knowing that this heat has readied me has steadied me has given me shape offered me safe space to exist without a need to be something else someone else soft, delicate, self help begins as hands work clay warm, delicate asking me to stay letting me know I fit securely in any palms I choose so long as they use tempered heat to soften my re...

Fingers drip slick with the scent of citrus clementines and lust and my tongue at present tastes like your name whispered rough, harshly and in vain as heat rushes harshly through my veins knees bent backs wet legs spent with effort only time will let dissolve as darkness eats with fervor, my resolve to hold out for you to hold on to you in the place behind my eyes in the exquisite tension pulsing through these thighs hot, rushing, swimming thoughts breathing... stuttered, caught in the chasm of this need this breaking open of me, like fresh fruit wetting everything for You... citrus peels scatter the floor and my fingers taste of juice

There is velvet On my tongue Soft Sweet Petals Settle On this pink And sink deep And she keeps breathing She weeps, pleading She becomes one liquid listless piece She seeks, needing For the bright breaking light to shatter Behind tight closed lids She lifts, she gives, she lives for this Perfectly timed death against These lips