List Words

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I make lists 
of things 
that I think 
will 
make me 
somehow 
better 
at life
the things
that I need
the things
that I like 
the ones 
that feel 
right 
and I 
find every first line
holding 
your eyes
your hands
your face 
your name
and my heart
is afraid
desperately 
trying
to quickly erase
to start over
to replace 
the ache 
that I feel 
I avoid 
avert 
appeal 
to my lonely 
aching soul 
to let you 
to leave you 
to make you 
go 
a fresh page
blank lines 
pen set
and I 
drag
it down
then across
and I know... I know
I know...
that this list
is my truth 
and my 
heart 
has been 
lost

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