Self-Serving Words

I write my life, 
Heart beats on my sleeve
Leave
Nothing to the imagination
Just soothe the ache, 

And devastation
Sees me laid bare
And why not
Why this
I ain't shit
I aim quick coarse words
At the hurt that's built this
He thinks he had it bad
Bet that on everything I have, 

I am at the edge here, 

Heard him out

Had it out, phone call word play
No explanation for his ways
Gave him a chance to say
The truth
To make amends
And he takes this time
To say that he
Was left
Abandoned
I'm having fucking deja vu
This one sounds just like you
Acting like a victim, quick come
Catch crocodile tears, years
Have come and gone for days
I can't remember your face
Cause you and him and this
Was never real
How am I 

Finding my worth
We were separated at birth
Worst and best thing
You ever did
Forgetting your kid
Me, I got use to
Birthdays where moms
Never called
I wonder if you remember at all
September
All those years ago
And now he's acting
Miserable
I don't call him
Or care
Or spare my time
Fuck you, I'm fine
And you have managed to forgive yourself
Without making any apologies
How is that even possible,
Probably
On that same shit
She's on
Move on
Forget
Let's let
The past be the last
Better than
Owning up to the truth

Weak tactics

No guilt

Bad habits

Catching up 

With the things 

You think you've built 

But we were 

Never 

Castles

Just cards 

Balanced on sand

In broken

Hour glasses

Sharp 

Dangerous grounds

So I found 

A way to exist 

With cut wrists, 

Cut hands

Cut feet

All of which cut me

Into a shape 

That won't fit

That won't sit still 

That never will 

Be right 

For anything good

Anything sweet

Anything that could be 

confused for love

I never was 

Gonna be more 

Than the crumbs 

You left behind 

You left and I 

Moved on 

Moved forward 

In the only way

I could 

With my heart on my sleeve

The only way I left myself 

Be seen 

In the way I was made

As an effigy

You want apologies

From what's left of me

But I no longer

Feel the need 

To let you get the best of me

I write out new things

Change the blueprints

And you no longer fit

And it's confusing 

But I'm saying it slow

So simple

So you can understand

You had everything 

Every moment 

Every chance

And you let it all 

Slip

Carelessly

Through your hands