It's Zenobia

I am working while  I'm hurting  to have a different  point of view of me  of we  of you in the long run  it's the wrong ones  I'm avoiding  or so I  tell myself and so I  fell myself  before I have a chance to grow  because there's a piece of me that wholeheartedly  believes  that I am right  to be afraid  to stay safe alone in the dark  with my back  to the wall  and chains  on my heart but it gets hard bearing this weight it gets hard  wearing this pain  and so  the devil I don't know  seems like a risk  I should be willing to take  I should be willing  to make  sacrifices  to have something  like us out in the sun  even if it kills me  at least it's one  day  free  where I don't have to pretend ...

And when it's all over I'll wonder If I only imagined you If I conjured up Just about The best Thing I knew I'd never have I knew I'd never ask Myself To admit the truth There was only me And my wants There was never you I wonder if When I look back I'll laugh At all the times I thought I'd have A moment Where we'd meet And be The only things Existing In each others sight With me willing time To give me More of you More of what might Have been The closest thing to right That I've ever Tasted And I wonder If I'd ever wasted My energy So fruitfully before My imagination So beautifully made more Than I could ever Wish And when it's all over I'll ache For what I couldn't Make exist

I lay, face pressed into the mattress laughing at my luck reveling in us our inherent magic so apparent that I feel his love even as we fuck bridging gaps across our souls and I wonder in my throes how he somehow manages to see something different in the me that I have come to know how we have found a brand new and yet familiar home how in his eyes his open face I find my heart reeling from an unfamiliar ache an always an everyday a safe haven an escape we are traveling hand in hand and I undersand as he traces fingers down my spine that I am open for this time this meeting this feeling inside me as he pushes past the past that defined me I let these moments move me guide me find me in this brand new hopeful place and over my shoulder I can see this truth across his face

For the purpose of  Experimentation  I will allow  Myself  These sensations  These invasions  Of thought These creations  Are wrought  With an  Ache  For something  Cunning Clever  Never before received  The way he  Chooses to offer  He chooses to proffer  Freely Sweetly Simply  So slowly  That I'm sinking Before I realize  I've been standing still  Drowning  Of my own  Free will, Drowning  And I feel I will Somehow evolve Learn how to breathe  In the places  I was always  Afraid to be He does this  Gives me opportunity  To expand To expound  Be found  Among waves  I thought would sweep me Into unknown currents But I'm encouraged  At how  He redefines things  Reimagines, Realigns things,  Reminds me  Of perspecti...

Someone loves her And I'm trying To find out Her secret I have my hands held out Seeking Some Comfort In that knowledge She smiles and I Am weeping For the looks that never seem to reach me She's had men Fall at her feet In pieces I collect them Stich them together Postulate my thesis Seeing The eager ache in their eyes And I Come no closer To being anything of consequence To anyone But I Surmise There must be something That she's made of Something I cant make up From the parts That make me Me But she Has something That they need And I am ever waiting Wanting Willing Them to see The things I offer The things I One day Hope to be

Five hours ahead But somehow I see the future first I know the future hurts More than we care to admit... Morning is there But you get Lost in the stars And its amazing, But It'll cost me My heart And honesty's hard But you Honestly are A double edged sword And a trouble That's more Than I thought I'd face How you managed To move Across Waves To my space And I Iet it slide Cause I thought I'd be safe But I Feel myself break Feel myself on The verge of the hurt From the same old mistakes You and your face And your words And your truth Find their way in And I'm Falling for you Knowing damn well That's its not what I do It's not a real choice So I cover my ears And drown out Your voice So I can save you From me So I can save myself From the pain I foresee You opened my heart And its aching to beat Desperate to be Held close in hands Not making it bleed But making time Still Whenever we speak Hours disso...