It's Zenobia

I offer prayers To a god I don’t believe in For the strength To leave him In peace At least For a moment I will own it The courage That escapes me I pray this love Abates please I am lately Broken By the omens Only known When he Forsakes we As more than friends I pray To a god absent in my heart Because I am At my ends I wanna touch him He needs his freedom I wanna let go But I Need Him I am torn In my direction I am starved For his affection The way It used to be But i'm not The me I used to be When there was hope There might be More of me I failed our chance And the friendship Slowly slips away And it’s not his fault So he should Freely walk away But I beg stay And love me But he’s seen I’m ugly When I don’t Get what I need I complain and expect For him to keep Me in the forefront Cause I am sore from The feelings He now has And I now have The knot in my stomach Cause its over My days seem colder And I am empty He  has decided to focus On the friendship So it has ended And I am r...

The grapes Don’t grow here No more Ever since The rain stopped And the ground Got hard They fell One by one Leaves Slow And graceful Like ballerinas With a whisper On the dry earth Sweet smell Of red and purple Gone now From What used to be Crisp air Now just The faint Smell Of old promises Of laughter, Sweat And a warmth That went Deep into your center Just dry air No The grapes Don’t grow here No more Ever since The summer went Away

Little by little ladders stack up against the wall not to catch those that fall but to catch those that fall on the outskirts of ordinary we are beings being watched cause the very idea of the lives that we live gives them pause we are freedom fighters for a cause our own little piece of the world breakin mundane day to day ordinary laws breakin out of molds no clones no assembly lines just a will to live not to simply survive ideas too big to fit within boxes never stop us we can push and press till we rest at the tops of the mountains now and till when life should keep fresh air in our lungs fresh till death so its sung by those we leave behind ladders stack up to catch us but they cant reach our minds

I wanna cry  But I won't Let you see Me like this Barely holding on As I break My mind weak I miss you But it's different It's your scent It’s your mouth Your warm skin I feel my body Betray me Its suppose to be Love But right now It’s your body Losing lines With mine Blending Seamlessly So perfectly But You’re gone No tears Just a dream Of us  Our skin, swimming

She makes attempts As an actress But eyes so sad Falsify The smile That she’s plastered On her face And I am faced Everyday With the lies in her head She wants it all But takes The friendship instead It’s all she has  She has once again  Convinced herself She struggles to please While quietly She turns to me  And cries on him It’s great  But she can't help  It ain't  All that she wants And though I try to help It just don’t work She don’t want my advice She wants to pretend Like it will all be okay But deep inside We both know It’s not gonna change She has good days And they  Become So perfect together And she convinces Herself They will work Out together I refuse to be blinded But she hates to be reminded “You never know” Is her anthem You’re a fool for that  I answer What I say don’t make no difference But damn if she don’t cry to me Confide in me Truth is… Damn if I ain't tired of me

I wonder about us sometimes It's not doubt So much as it is how  We do this When we Break apart Harsh, hard,  Absolutely beneficial Or so we think But nonetheless  Break apart and yet Without explanation We are back together When did it happen  Did you see it? But… We never do  We are back again Like mercury that breathes And we  Come back as though it’s just supposed to be And it’s never strange But it Just is And we pick up  Where we left off Like we never left at all  Second nature And yet it’s greater  Than any feeling that I’ve ever had But then again  I’ve never had Someone like him  Who seems to be  An always been Our relationship Is  This liquid silver  And I am happy to be  A fan of the unknown

I wonder about us sometimes its not doubt so much as it is how we do this when we break apart harsh, hard, absolutely beneficial or so we think but nonetheless break apart and yet without explanation we are back together when did it happen

Push me  Pull you Push  You  Pull  Me  We go  Back and forth  For hours  Forever  For what  Forget  The meaning Just scream  The words  Louder means  Right  Right now,  Right away  I’m lost  I thought you knew  I think I know  What’s gonna work when we  Trade words  But I’ve stirred  You up  In what way  I’m not always sure  But you’re always sure  That I have  That I’ve had The tendency for avoidance annoyed then, I say so and you say no and someone has  Forgotten  Someone's feelings And its feeling Like such weight  So you wait it out  And I want it done  Too quick  And someone has  Forgotten  And we halfway Agree to disagree All the while we  Get sick of  Going back and forth  For hours  Forever, and I  want to get it right For once For what…  For us