Lost Words

The tears I refuse to cry
Fill my lungs
And I slowly
Die
Stubborn attempts at strength
Leave me spent
And I say my name quietly
The letters roll around my mouth
Press against my teeth
And ask me
What it all means
Who am I
Why can't I figure this out
All the years of living 
Leave me confused at who I see
My name, my name, my name
It used to mean something and I
Can't remember, how, or why or
When it changed