Version Words

My version of

in love 
Is in some
Empty field
Blades of grass
Made of glass

Sharp
Shimmering 

In the sun
Cutting 
Like a tongue

and as I 

wade through

the wind 

moves,

its whispers

demand my head

and heart

pay attention 

then

leave me with

scars 

to keep me 

from getting 

too far away

humbled

crippled 

cut deep

so I stay

stay

stay

this is love

I take notes

I stay close

I stay closed

to other possibilities

I lose hope 

that anyone 

will come for me

and so slow

I change 

the wires in my mind

rearrange

make space

write code

this is life

this is love

there is no

other way

this is everything

I've wanted 

every 

single 

cut 

is honest

I ask 

I chase

I stay 

I bend 

I break 

I accommodate

I make up 

for my 

missing pieces

I apologize

for being 

me 

just as I am 

I understand

that love 

is heavy

hard

sharp

I embrace it 

as it breaks

the heart

I now keep 

in a ziploc bag

sad wet pieces

jumbled

together

my version 

of love

is weatherd 

worried

and wonderfully 

resilient

somehow 

not giving in 

it thrives

on swimming in 

this bleak 

barren 

lake 

my version

feels impossible 

to escape

how long

how much 

how just 

a little more

is what I 

should take

I should make

a lighter one

a better one

an open door

soft hands

love letter one

but I

don't have the language

so I manage

with what 

life has offered 

and all this 

rough 

has made me softer

weaker 

wanting 

and simultaneously 

hard 

hopeless

haunted 

My version of love

is daunting 

So I stay 

I wait 

I pray 

for something 

sweeter 

a blueprint 

of anything nearer

to a delicate 

meadow 

under a gentle sun

my version of love 

is in some 

empty field

blades made of glass

and I bleed

into the earth 

and hope

hope

hope

that these moments

will pass