Understanding Words

I've captured lust
caught
on tip of my tongue
pushed against
clenched
teeth
the ecstasy of grief
the feeling 
of 
wanton
desperate need
to be had 
to be known 
to be wrought 
senseless
lest I be seen 
as something less than
eager 
hungry 
wanting 
I have spun sugared 
webs of sex
open legs 
slick with wet 
with thirsting 
with purpose
with becoming 
art, abject object
useful 
to the users hard
angry heart
I have come 
far and away
and against
the heel
of palms
raised,
warnings 
to my calm
caring nods
of understanding
I have collected 
word 
after word 
after word
after days and weeks 
and years 
pressed together 
letters 
tethered 
tied around 
my neck 
no give 
no stretch 
no sign 
of release 
I have courted
death 
from the depths
of my bloodstream
dark angry dreams
a glass prison
projecting 
scenes made
to make me 
believe 
I was free 
I have offered my body
to science 
to diet 
to rough hands 
mouths 
teeth 
sinking deep 
flesh 
clipped like fresh 
fruit
dropped,
bruised
I have been
abandoned 
in all the languages
I've known 
in all the chapters
of all the books
of life
and in all this time
I thought I understood 
these things
these moments 
these hopeless
heartless
happenings 
to be songs
to be poems 
to be
Love
somehow 
somewhere 
along the lines
I convinced myself 
this was 
enough 
and now 
I understand 
I accept 
I trust 
that I
can walk into 
something real 
what the universe 
calls...
Us