It's Zenobia

She was a ghost most of my life, like she died but I still had to see her on weekends and they tried to convince me that blood binds and I had to respect the truth she was who she was and I wasn't allowed to deny it and I  spent weekends trying to decipher life as it pertained to this woman who gave up her life for three people and then proceeded to give up on their lives for her own human reasons and so I tried to understand her fears while she tried to undercut the years that another woman gave away not to take her place but to fill a place inside herself that life had denied her self and the weekends consisted of playin cards with my big brother cause she kinda loved her self a little more than us so she left a little cash for us to go to the corner store while she took her time at the corners for conversation relaxation contemplation on whether or not she would take us next week lets keep playin these games where she only stayed long enough to tell me and maybe us that "He...

His mouth is so soft But his words are so hard And his hands are so sweet But he always leaves scars And he Often offers apologies And he Often authors autobiographies Tellin me Why he Does the things he does Why I Should forgive Why he Just can't live Without me right here And they never quite hear When I explain why I Have to have him back Through all this After all that And they just don't get it But I don't let it get to me I'm like If you don't agree Then you aint no friend to me Then you gotta be the enemy And I know they were there Taking the 3am phone calls Making the 3am phone calls When I was all scared When I was crying so hard They had my back Back when he Had me backed into the closet And then again when he lost it And I had to Lock myself in the bathroom But you know I talk a bit much And I be getting him mad And when he threw me in the closet Well… I was asking for that But they don't understand us I'm doing the right thing He needs me And I c...

My grandmother's daughter bought her first pack of cigarettes on a bet... 30 years later still hasn’t quit yet though she tried many times she could never succeed like the way she did when she was quitting on me he and she but they could never quite agree what today would be should they love her or hate her I find myself safer not even thinking those things not even thinking goes and brings me any closer to peace and we aint closer to each and others find it necessary to preach about blood ties and such things but she waived her rights to such things cause she ain't right but such things don't cloud me as often little girl tears don't drown me as often and the past was a wash but I am alive and I orphan any pain that held me any words that tell me I’m my mothers child cause I’m my mothers wild nights of abandon a play on words, birthed in that fashion and she never offered me any other choices and i still hear their voices offering up her excuses but excuse me it's ...

I wonder on occasions On the occasions You see her As you two are in the throes Of your feelings while she wonders If it's  just her That you're seeing Does she think she Possibly Smells me on your skin In the back of her mind Does she argue to herself That she is overreacting Or does she See Me Over You After You left her last night As she pictures me fight The smile on my lips as we kiss Youll go home To her, but she'll Just remember this Moments go by and though You pleasure her body She oddly Is not responding And you wonder about Her wondering and you assume She thinks about him again You thought you had Worked past then But here you go trying to be The one While she thinks About the one that got away A day In the life of a couple Lost in the thoughts They got caught in When they first walked in To these mistakes And all it takes Is for her to possibly Smell me on your skin Again But this time for the first time You both hope That it ends

House keys help me breathe you in but memories of mouth on collar bone help me sleep at night

I am rising from the bottom of this ocean swimming quickly to the surface finally free of the weights that claimed me so completely and I see above me your hands waiting patiently to meet my own in that place where you have waited with your sails full against the winds for the right moment to begin this, our journey