Kept Words

-

 

I wonder if 

It hurt you 

Me not saying those words

If you knew

That they never lived 

At my lips

That I only knew them 

On pages

That it was my own version

of real

The only way 

I knew how to feel

We made jokes of it

We made the most of it

We let it be

Two letters 

For words I'd never

Know how to say

We let it be hard and fast

For ways I never

Knew how to tame

And you said slow

I'll meet you there

And I always said no

Too eager 

To even care

Cause you don't have to

Not on account of me

Let it be

I don't know slow

hurry

harder

Bend me, break me,

Please just take me

But don't call it love

Cause in truth

We only fucked

No I lie 

Sometimes 

We had sex 

Set against 

Night and proclamations

Of us 

And even of love

But

Those were just

Adornments 

for the moment

We never made 

Anything

More 

Than a mess of the sheets

And the bed 

And our dreams 

Once we slept 

There was magic

certainly but weren't we 

Always honest

About what it was

We were too busy

Fucking to ever make 

Much

Else of it

The truth is it 

Was all I that I could give

But I wonder 

If under

Those jokes, those smiles

we had

Did it hurt

The words

I never let you have


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