Steal Words

Don't steal kisses
don't make me miss us
don't make empty promises

if you'll only be listless

I want grand gestures

of the simplest

kind 

small subtle cues 

that show glimpses 

that I'm 

someone 

special 

someone 

well worth 

expending 

extra

energy for

I want to believe

you remember 

the bruises

still not soothed

on my knees

the ones 

I knelt on 

to pray 

to be 

everything you needed

repeated 

each night

after long nights

without end in sight

while I wondered

if you might

offer me a hand

make me promise

to stand 

to not seek pain 

to command 

your attention 

but there was no mention

no thought 

about what I was 

willing to give

how I was willing 

to hurt

to make the most of 

something 

you didn't even 

take note of 

if I'm honest 

it hurts 

and it's worse

when I think 

of how 

you had no explanation 

no real reasons

you were willing 

to let me 

hurt myself

to keep feeding

off the sweetness

I offered 

at the cost of 

my own good sense

my ligaments

my boundaries 

my sense of peace

I pushed for us 

I was patient,

and I can say it, 

I wasn't

perfect 

I fell victim 

to overthinking

to backtracking 

to acting

cool

aloof 

afraid 

of you

of this 

of tomorrow 

having me helpless 

in its grip 

I was afraid 

of falling

without a parachute

but, I closed my eyes and jumped

for you

and once again 

found myself

in a crumpled heap

at the feet 

of a man 

who would never

jump 

for me

why do I bother

why am I wanted

but not honored

why can I offer

but not expect 

to get 

even a little

of the things that matter 

to me

why do I know 

that eyes will pass over 

these words

but not really see

not fight 

for what 

I'd be willing to be 

not sacrifice

a little relief 

a moment of sleep

don't steal kisses

if you're not willing 

to fight 

for my needs

don't make me miss us

if you're gonna give up

forget 

concede

throw your hands up 

and admit defeat 

don't just steal kisses

earn them 

for the hope 

of what we could be

if you really want it

you have to risk

without the promise

the way I did 

despite the lack 

of

guarantee