Posts

Smoke Words

Soot stains my tongue from the ash remnants  of the fire we made the blaze in our wake fingers black, trails down the back of my spine now singed tinged with the time taken to grind  bones  down  slow I, mortar you pestle nestled at the base of me settled  sweet  drawing ache from me  working circles  smoothing  soothing surfing at the wake of me sheets steeped the sweet tea  of wet sex sweat  salt  sea I imagine we look like shadows charcoal  on canvas smudged  soft spread across all our angles with abandon with fervor  ravenous  for flesh  teeth bared  mouth  begging to be fed the slow simmer  of glances becomes actions kisses are kindling  igniting  inviting  heat  builds burns bright brighter blinding  we explode  stars in our throes  cries in our throats tears  spill hot  dampen  darken embers taper to glow walls coated in gold we red...

Broken Words

and i'm a broken mess  of bones thrown  with abandon into cardboard boxes separated  from myself what's left  of order in this life that i've tripped through ripped through  heartbeat on speed  quick to steal away my breath  and i beg please take me with you make me fit you you're not even trying please  pack my heart  don't make me miss you remember when  we were  so close our fingerprints insisted  there was no  difference between us when the sun  was hard pressed to fit  shadows between us  when we made so much sense  no logic was needed  and now somehow  while i was asleep in the moment that i looked away in the space  of the seconds that our breaths did not align  you decide  that it's over  and I am only enough for the past  the last few years and the tears fill the room  fill my lungs we are done I drown  and you have  moved on you have  been...

Understanding Words

I've captured lust caught on tip of my tongue pushed against clenched teeth the ecstasy of grief the feeling  of  wanton desperate need to be had  to be known  to be wrought  senseless lest I be seen  as something less than eager  hungry  wanting  I have spun sugared  webs of sex open legs  slick with wet  with thirsting  with purpose with becoming  art, abject object useful  to the users hard angry heart I have come  far and away and against the heel of palms raised, warnings  to my calm caring nods of understanding I have collected  word  after word  after word after days and weeks  and years  pressed together  letters  tethered  tied around  my neck  no give  no stretch  no sign  of release  I have courted death  from the depths of my bloodstream dark angry dreams a glass prison projecting  scenes made...

Reason Words

I'm trying  To teach you  How to  Know me So when You say You love me It can only Be the truth only offered as proof of all  you've learned thus far Please Give me  reasons to reason with my aching heart make it art make it speak to me  let it filter  through you  make it spark make the fire  start  the many  necessary  movements You want  passion, I need  brewing I need  doing I need to be  greater  than your  inclination to forget  to set it aside to let it rest  to file it away  Give me reasons to reason  with myself to weigh the balance in  your favor make me believe  that it's me that gets your attention and holds it  firm, fitted into  a place you savor makes you  yearn  makes you  stay  alert  alive  all night all day  give me reasons to reason  with this ache I can only offer  suggestions  the rest is ...

Known Words

I who  have never  known love been loved  been one  of those special moments  For someone  I who have waited, choked on this patience am aching and afraid when I find myself lured  baited taken by the gentlest of nature exhibited honestly  openly for no other reason  than to  make known to me that I  am  special  something  better  than I have  known myself to be I see myself  now  in the way  that  he  reflects me  in his eyes in the reach  of his hands in the way that he  plans seconds, minutes, hours, life  against the  time  I am alive  along for this ride I who have never known love am in awe of its  touch of the way  that it hugs  all the edges of life the hard ones the sharp ones the far ones the ones that have  no shape love becomes water  and takes its cue to do what ever  must be done I who have never known lo...

Yes Words

Saying Yes Is like  holding my breath  Under water And I'll try it For you Stop breathing  To prove  I gave it  the chance it deserves the seconds the minutes the hours the days it might likely be worth the truth is it hurts lungs burn and I  fight to rise  to the surface but I hold I wait I stay still  will myself  to relearn  breathing  being  alive in this new place an environment that takes getting used to  I'm getting  used to  the way  you look at me  here  like I'm something  special  like I might be better  than I have ever known I feel the pressure in my chest the weight of this test of wills the wiles of thrills disguised  as fate but maybe  this is safe this is easy doesn't take much for me  thrive maybe before I was gone  and now  I'm alive maybe I  was holding  my breath  this whole time mind tense body tight held at the edge ...

Cycle Words

I'm trying  to break  the cycle trying to be  more stable  less psycho more  present  less idle  I've been swimming in waves less calm more tidal I'm used to  walking on eggshells and thin ice and he's nice but I  got him  walking  on tiptoes he's warm  but I'm cold and I want but I hold back  far away  hard to say  when I  will let myself feel safe and he stays even measured never changing  direction never mentions my back  and forth  my rollercoaster my always leaving he is  a paper map  no updates needed and this  for me is unfamiliar territory  an unknown  story I tell myself is written  for someone else  but he'll  repeat  till I accept  that's what says that's what he swears  he means and I'm  trying  to break  the cycle to really  believe