Misappropriate Words

 

I've misplaced

My affections

My intentions

Projected

All

Across

The planes of him

I play for his

Attention

Sentence

After sentence

I will

I would

I could

If you’re into it

But really

We

Are not equipped

To be so intimate

We’re just friends

And I just

Am

Or really have been

Alone

For too long

In need of hands

And touch

And such

And so I pluck

Sinister scenarios

Out

Of an imagination

That my body

Swears are memories

And say that we

Should try it

Trust it

Fuck it

Friends can touch things

But this is it

What I do

When I’m due

For hands

That wish

To reanimate my skin

My nerves

I hurt

His feelings maybe

Taking too many liberties

But we, well

He

Always laughs it off

And I walk it off

Head hung down

In shame

And something

Tasting like defeat

Settling all along

The whole

Of me

I once again

Have misplaced

My affections

He is handsome

No question

And if he said yes

Then I would

I could

But I should

Be honest

With myself

I don’t drink

His brand of coffee

I’m just sipping

To be felt

To feel connection

To be held

Warm against

My empty

Palms

I know it isn't him

But I can’t help

But want