Run Words

Maybe it's temporary, not sure yet 

But I managed to finally get it off my chest 

I gathered all the necessary yesterdays and placed them safe

In a brown paper bag rolled down tight

Hasn't escaped me that way he and his eyes are headlights

Shine on the everything that I like

That I'll never have, lost just like that

I laugh that sad laugh that says I'm glad that its all over

Over the course of this life 

I've looked over and past the bad cause I had it in my mind

That I was lucky for anything at all that deigned to fall haphazardly in this lap

This has translated to flagrant abuse of the tracks 

I trace hastily across my back

Let em walk over me and my last goddamn nerve 

Bite your tongue love, keep your heart shut, its what I learned to deserve

Now we stand two adults on the brink of tomorrows that we think we can paste together 

Better than before but I lean back and relax my last words as they pour

Like salt in wounds, wars have casualties I casually assumed you knew

I don't know how to be as good as you

I don't know how to be the better that you have mistaken me for 

Its blatant disdain for the cure that I desperately need, for sure

Please believe I'm broken ..spoken slow so tears I thought were frozen don't spill 

Still I am open, knowing only one of us is good enough for love 

And sorry to break the news but honey it's most definitely you

And I am maybe temporarily, but certainly unable to breathe in this room 

Lungs full, consumed, choked by fumes few can fight through

Like you, love you, hug you goodbye, cause I was born alone like most 

But I was lost at birth, wrong turns turn wrongs into truth, in truth it hurts

But first impressions are the worst to reconsider, reconfigure, 

Mother who forgot my name as she came to deliver

At the edge of that river, running quicker, left me cunning, clever, better to get out of sticky situations, Bereft of patience after waiting patient for love, life, light, but find that I’m 

Better off alone, when does girl stop being a daughter 

When her mother doesn’t want her, when her father only haunts her 

With words worse than walking away, here honey take the blame 

It’s all the same to me, to be this brittle broken creature,

We hurt just the same, I look around and see the pain but I am weaker 

Waiting, no sooner running away, like she taught me, the escape syndrome 

Caught me, a bug in a web left for the birds, I am often just one

My lucky number wonders when I’ll finally add up 

I put away those yesterdays and promised him the truth, I never blamed you 

I am something different, dark, damaged goods, 

And you would do well to walk away, but since you won’t I know that it has to fall on me 

You were always much too much to love, and I too afraid to do more than just be free