Relent Words

He wants me 

To be

Secret

Dirty 

But we 

Should keep it

Between only 

He and I 

And I heard it 

Before 

Before clothes

Made their home 

Thrown 

Haphazardly 

On floors

Hasn’t happened 

How it should

Always 

Asking 

For tomorrows

Time borrowed 

From someone 

Else’s bank 

Deficit 

Definitely 

Somehow still 

On my end 

In the red 

In my bed 

Never his

Finger pressed to lips

Never tell 

Never give

Any impression 

That we’re less than 

Perfect paragons 

On our own 

Completely separate 

Planes

Stay away 

From lights that might

Catch us 

Off guard 

Or really catch him 

Out of line

I’m inclined to believe

My instincts

In this 

Particular situation

--I’m just not ready 

His usual words 

Work my patience

Is he even

Worth this waiting 

Anticipating

Change 

Is useless 

He is ruthless 

In the way he makes

Tears spill 

Second only to the way

He makes 

My breath still 

In my throat 

When he goes 

Down 

About 

His business

Of building 

Pyres of pleasure 

Explosions 

Soaking 

Provoking stars 

Hard inside my mind

To blind 

The reality 

Of the mess I’m in 

Selling what’s left 

Of my soul

To this sin 

---for what

For just a taste 

Of him 

Not lost on me 

That we are 

Nothing real

And I feel 

Urges 

Are misappropriated 

Should focus 

More on taking 

The time 

To walk away 

But I’m stupid 

I stay

He does more than speak 

Lies

Out of the wicked mouth 

To be seen

With those hardened eyes

My will wanes 

Way off course

Of course

This needs to be 

Put to rest 

He says 

That we should be 

A secret 

And he sees it 

As our only choice in this

So for now my lips

Stayed sealed 

Appealed by 

The earnest nature 

Of his request 

And the way his hands

His mouth, his body softly 

Offers me 

Deliverance