Cycle Words

-
I'm trying 
to break 
the cycle
trying to be 
more
stable 
less psycho
more 
present 
less idle 
I've been
swimming
in waves
less calm
more tidal
I'm used to 
walking on
eggshells
and thin ice
and he's nice
but I 
got him 
walking 
on tiptoes
he's warm 
but I'm cold
and I want
but I hold
back 
far away 
hard to say 
when I 
will let myself
feel safe
and he stays
even
measured
never
changing 
direction
never mentions
my back 
and forth 
my rollercoaster
my always
leaving
he is 
a paper
map 
no updates
needed
and this 
for me
is
unfamiliar
territory 
an unknown 
story
I tell myself
is written 
for someone else 
but he'll 
repeat 
till I accept 
that's what says
that's what he
swears 
he means
and I'm 
trying 
to break 
the cycle
to really 
believe

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