Language Words

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I speak in sighs 
Fake smiles
Bitten lips 
Inappropriate quips
And admittedly this
Is not an easy 
Language to follow 
So I need 
Someone 
With tall emotional stature
So nothing I say
Goes over their 
Head
They capture
Everything given
Driven 
To understand 
To decode
Decipher  
The worried hands
Nervous laughter 
The tendency 
For me 
To factor 
Sex 
Into goodnight
No morning 
After
I speak with sharp teeth
The longer I 
Feel the need
To escape 
To remove myself 
To be free
I need someone
Who sees 
The future 
I have pre planned 
In my sleep
Anticipate my need
To hurt myself 
In speech 
On indefinite repeat 
I need someone to be
Ready, aware, there
In the moment 
Holding my gaze 
And knowing 
The things that I can't say
That my eyes
Always give away
I need someone to see
Me 
To understand the things
I give 
Are things I need
Things that I'll deny 
Are things I need to eat
I speak with distractions 
Subtle gentle actions
To make you forget 
That I exist 
Separate from this 
Moment I offer 
Open mouthed
And proffered 
Submissive 
So as to dismiss 
The uncomfortable feelings
The unnatural 
Stillness 
Holding me here 
Please notice 
Proffer diagnosis 
This sickness 
This syndrome of
"Hand on the doorknob" 
Living 
Listen 
I'm saying everything 
Leaving it all on the floor 
At your feet
I speak 
In code
My own language 
Space
Where words 
Are missing 
I need someone
Willing 
To press their ear to door 
And listen 
I speak softly 
Sign language 
From a distance 
And I 
Know that I'm not easy
So I need someone
With vision 
Clarity
To see me
To hear me
To understand 
My wishes
My language 
Is languid missive
I need someone 
With time on their
Hands 
To read me
I need 
Someone 
Who knows me 
Without me 
Even 
Speaking 

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