Not Words

-

I never was

The girl 

You take home

To mom

My own

Not even 

Wanting me around

And now 

I watch days 

Go by 

And I slowly die

Inside

I like the way 

He smiles

And the way his hands

Feel

On my skin

And I love the feel of him

But I just 

Can't let him in

To the place 

Where my heart

Was welded shut

And not even love 

Can open up

These wounds

These scars 

Are far past feeling

I want him 

To love me 

But I'm not really

Sure of anything

Except 

My emptiness

I'm not the kinda girl

You love 

I'm the girl 

You touch 

In the dark

With your eyes closed

While I whisper 

The most 

Perfect words you've heard

--I'll be gone 

When you wake up

I don't want love

I don't expect phone calls

Or stars plucked 

From the sky 

I 

Am not forever 

Not a princess

Or a prize

No one writes words

About my eyes

Or my lips

I am this 

An empty shell

A dried well

A girl who can only tell

The truth

I am not 

The girl 

You take home

I am 

The quiet footsteps

Closing the door behind me

And walking out 

Alone


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