Promise Words

I should've stopped 

but I didn't

I let myself 

get myself 

all worked up

and jumped

in, head first

I should've stopped

but I didn't 

I did it 

I let my hand 

lead the way 

way 

down 

to where I keep 

your promises

I promise

this 

is the last time 

cause I 

really do like you 

like us 

it's just that I try 

and not think 

of those things 

that you said 

and my head 

is seriously selling these scenes

of you and me 

so real 

so I 

do the only thing I can 

I take matters

into my own hands

simply to quell,

to purge 

this urge

for you who is not here

not near 

enough 

to give me 

what I need 

and I am clearly

not a fan of delayed gratification

I mean, I'm patient 

but lately I'm taking 

a new road 

so this hand goes

where I know 

me best 

and I can only promise

to think of you 

in the end

I can only say 

I'm pretty sure I won't

do this again

but please don't 

hold me to it 

cause you get my self

all worked up

down where 

my heart 

floats 

in a puddle of wet hopes

and it gets so 

that I am a bit of

a mess for you 

want want wanting to be 

next to you 

and last time you said 

those words

whispered my nerves 

into a frenzy, flames licked 

the endings

of my already unsteady self control

you Come 

and then Go

and I am left alone 

with the scenes in my head

and your scent in this bed

and my mind is Alive

and my knees start to bend

and then...

I know I promised 

that I would wait to sate myself

at the base of yourself 

but what else could I do 

I know I promised

I should've stopped it 

but I didn't 

I let my hand become 

all the words 

you left on your last visit

you did this 

you are responsible 

for me in 

this swim 

below my surface 

But love...My hurt is

calm now 

since I let 

my hand down 

to the place where

I keep your promises

I promise it