Panic Words

Sitting there

In his room

In the dim lights

I had to fight

To keep

From running

Clear across

The cold black pavement

Saving

My sanity

By taking slow

Deep breaths

When did I get

Here

To these seconds

This room

This is just too soon

Or maybe it’s not ever

Going to be

And is it crazy

That I’m okay with that

My heart and my head

Are conflicted

I insisted

That we should spend some time

But then I panicked

Put my shoes on so fast

And ran quick out of the room

There is no room

Left inside me for this

For holding hands

And trying

Out lips

It feels like hands

Are at my throat

And I know it’s crazy

But maybe

I’m right and I’m

Not built for

Past tonight